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Wondering how to deal with being ghosted? In this post, you’ll learn how to deal with being ghosted with a healing at-home ceremony, and a couple of mindset shifts that will completely transform your perspective!

How to deal with being ghosted

how to deal with being ghosted

Date published: February 17 2021

Wondering how to deal with being ghosted? In this post, you’ll learn how to deal with being ghosted with a healing at-home ceremony, and a couple of mindset shifts that will completely transform your perspective!

how to deal with being ghosted

Getting ghosted sucks. As lonely as this might feel, it happens to a lot of us. This is the exact reason why I’m writing this post - because it has happened to me a couple times over the past couple years, and is something I had to learn to deal with.

The roller coaster of emotions was definitely a struggle, but it also taught me so many ways to cope with the hurt and other emotions that came along with being ghosted.

After learning about this healing at-home ceremony and the transformative mindset shifts, you’ll never see ghosting in the same way again, and you’ll be well on your way to healing your pain and hurt.

This post is all about how to deal with being ghosted!

How to deal with being ghosted

Healing at-home ceremony

depressed after being ghosted

Let's get into how to deal with being ghosted.

First, let me share with you the at-home ceremony that I did, that really helped me heal from the pain and hurt of getting ghosted. Our subconscious mind works really well with symbols, and that’s what this ceremony was for me: a symbol of healing. A symbol of letting go. A symbol of moving on. A symbol of being ready for something new. A symbol of deserving better.

I actually did this ceremony a couple of years after the initial “ghosting incident” happened (which you can listen all about here on my podcast episode 14), however I know this ceremony will be powerful at any stage you’re at. If I would have thought of doing this sooner, I would have.

At this point, I was definitely “over” the person - it had been over 6 years! However, I was perhaps still holding onto resentment from the past, and definitely holding onto limiting beliefs that stemmed from that event.

This ceremony will not only help you heal your pain of betrayal, anger, and resentment towards the other person, but also help you heal your own limiting beliefs that you may have taken on since the event (i.e. I am not worthy of love), and trade them for new beliefs that you are so much more deserving of! The answer to how to deal with being ghosted starts with self care and self love.

Prep: Get comfy!

how to respond to a guy that ghosted you

I recommend doing this ceremony on a chill, relaxed, evening night where you won’t be disturbed. Carve out an evening (about 1-3 hours) to yourself to go through this.

When I did this, I made this evening all about me. I made myself a comfy spot, and grabbed myself a Starbucks (I recommend you do the same - or get any other drink of choice!)

You’ll also want to have the following handy:

  • Journal
  • Pen/pencil
  • Sticky notes (your journal will also work if you don’t have sticky notes)

Step 1: Write a forgiveness letter

what to say when ghosted

Write a forgiveness letter to the person who ghosted you. You are doing this for no one but YOU. Write this letter in your journal for no one else to see - simply to get your feelings out.

I know you might be thinking “but this person doesn’t deserve my forgiveness!”

Here’s the thing: you’re not forgiving them for them. You’re forgiving them for you. Whether you forgive them or not will likely not affect them very much, but whether you hold onto anger or not, WILL affect you. Negative emotions such as anger, resentment, frustration, etc., has been linked to creating dis-ease (simply the body not being at ease, which can create physical disease). And, so, this is for your own benefit. You and your body deserve to heal from this.

Write out how you feel. Let your anger out, let your frustration out.

And then forgive. For your own peace. Let the emotions go - your body will thank you later.

Step 2: Write out each negative belief

how to deal with being ghosted

Write out each negative belief you have about yourself when it comes to love on a sticky note. Don’t be shy, write on! I literally had my whole table covered lol. The more you can dig out, the more you can change!

Examples would be “I am not worthy of love”, “I am never cared for”, “my feelings are never reciprocated”, etc.

Step 3: Write the opposing belief

being ghosted in a relationship

Now, write the opposing belief to each of the negative beliefs on separate sticky notes. So you should now have each negative belief on a sticky note, and each opposing belief on a separate sticky note.

These are the new beliefs you’re going to be taking on.

Step 4: Destroy the negative belief sticky notes

he ghosted me

Rip them, burn them (safely lol), crumble them up, flush them down, do whatever you feel best resonates with you. The subconscious mind loves symbols, and so this is a great way to symbolize to your subconscious that these beliefs are no longer serving you.

I recommend keeping the new belief sticky notes in your journal, and work on integrating them in your belief system by reminding yourself of them often, writing them out, reading them out loud, finding reasons why they are true, etc. Again, whatever you feel best resonates with you.

Mindset shifts

Next, let’s get into transformative mindset shifts that will give you a new perspective when it comes to ghosting. Sometimes a simple change in perspective can do wonders in how we think and feel, and that’s what these did for me! The next time you're wondering how to deal with getting ghosted, remember these key mindset shifts.

Mindset shift #1: You NEVER know what the person is going through

what to text after being ghosted

We’re all humans - we all have our own way of thinking. And with that, comes the mystery of what is going on in other people’s heads. There is no way that we can prove what someone is thinking, or what someone has gone through, therefore we shouldn’t make assumptions that only hurt us in the end. The types of assumptions I’m talking about are:

“I guess they never liked me”

“See, of course, they don’t even care”

“I guess I don’t mean anything to them”

“I’m sure they feel much stronger about X/Y/Z”

“Why would they purposefully hurt me?”

And on and on…

The problem with these is that we’re taking on an assumption, a belief, that doesn’t make us feel good (for a reason that may not even be true after all!)

The situation may look a certain way, but how do we actually know that that was the person’s intention? We don’t. Even if they tell us. We have no way to prove it.

My point is, we truly don’t have a way of knowing what a person thinks and feels, or why they do certain things, so why make assumptions that only hurt us?

 When getting ghosted, I found that my mind would obsess over why it happened - it wanted justification. And more often than not, it resorted to a negative conclusion (i.e. “I guess they just don’t care about me”), rather than a neutral/positive conclusion (i.e. “maybe there’s a better match for me out there and they’re actually doing me a favor”, or “maybe they’re going through something that I can’t quite relate with”). This is not to say that you should accept being treated poorly, but rather to keep an open mind about the situation, instead of putting yourself down for something that you don’t even know to be true.

I’ve actually been in a situation where someone ghosted me and months later, they told me the truth. That they were in such a bad place mentally that they were in and out of the hospital. I had no clue at the time. I thought I knew this person quite well, but I guess not. I’m not saying that this excuses the way they treated me, but what I am saying is that I had no need to be beating myself up with conclusions like “they never cared about you”, “you’re not worthy of someone else’s love”, etc. They also told me that what we had was the best thing in their life at the time, and were afraid to open up about what was really going on. They really wanted to give it another shot, which we did, but it was really hard for me to trust them after what had happened, so it didn’t work out.

All of this to say that again, you never know what something is thinking or going through.

Mindset shift #2: Yes, sometimes it is about you, but don’t take it in that way

best ghosting responses

What I mean is that yes, maybe they weren’t feeling it as much as you, but you did nothing wrong.

When this happened to me, I remember asking myself: “what did I do wrong?”, “what do I need to change?”, “what mistakes did I make?”

I think there’s a time and a place to ask yourself these types of questions to truly improve and grow as a human being, but it isn’t after getting ghosted. The reason is that you’re asking yourself these questions with the intention of pleasing other people, instead of with the intention to become the best version of you.

I’m going to be honest here, there was likely nothing you could have done, said, or changed to have the other person feel the way you would have wanted them to feel. Think of it this way - there’s likely people you’ve been on a date with where you simply weren’t feeling it. There’s nothing they could have done, said, or changed that would have made you suddenly fall in love. And for some people, it takes a longer time to figure that out. Feelings can also change. My point being, we can’t force feelings onto other people. Instead of spending your energy thinking “what could I change for them to like me?”, why not spend your energy fully being you for the person that WILL feel it.

Again, as per the mindset shift above, not that this excuses the ghosting behaviour, but it did give me a new way to shift my energy that was much more productive.

Mindset shift #3: It’s not your burden to carry

how to respond to a guy that ghosted me

And lastly, let’s talk about why it’s not your burden to carry. We can often feel like someone “did us wrong” when they ghost, and so it can be tempting to want for them to feel the same pain we’re feeling. To “get them back”, or to “get revenge”. Again, this is a big waste and negative use of your energy.

This is how I like to see it for my own peace of mind: karma (or the law of cause and effect) will take care of what needs to happen. I do truly believe that what we put out, we get back, at some point or another. The universal laws state this. And so why not spend your energy on much more productive things, on yourself, on growing, on healing, as opposed to putting more negativity into the world.
Trust me, I get it. You feel betrayed, hurt, angry, just to name a few. It can be an emotional roller coaster. But by wanting to do bad to someone else, you’re not doing any good to you. This is for YOU.

This post was all about how to deal with being ghosted. You now have all the steps to go through your own at-home healing ceremony, as well as 3 new mindset shifts that you can implement to help you heal from getting ghosted.

how to deal with being ghosted
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Welcome to the Fituristically Her blog, where we talk about all things Law of Attraction, spirituality, mindset, and more!

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